To Come Home
by ForbiddenDreams13
Summary: Shizuru Kuwabara had had to watch her brother flirt with death one too many times. It angers and terrifies her how little value her sibling seems to place on his own life, and so she has Kazuma make her a promise that no matter how steep the danger, he will fight not only to save, but to survive.
A normal, everyday teenager. That's what he looked like, sitting at his desk, scribbling away as he did his homework, mumbling to himself when he came across something difficult. The burnished gold light of the desk lamp fell across his face in a single saffron sheet, tinting his hair a soft crimson. Shizuru watched her brother tackle math problem after math problem, only to grit his teeth and consult his open textbook every now and then.

Yes, a perfectly normal teenage boy. If not for the scar right above his heart. The ghost of a heart-stopping moment where Kazuma almost became a ghost himself. Shizuru felt a smile tug at the corners of her lips. Looking at him now, one would never believe such a tale if it were told to them. Hell, she had a hard time believing it too. However, one needed only to lift Kazuma's shirt to see the proof. Proof that had Toguro not intentionally missed Kazuma's vitals, Shizuru would have returned home an only child.

Leaving her vantage point against the door frame, the elder Kuwabara sibling strode into her brother's room. The boy didn't even stir as his sister walked behind him and sat down on his bed, so intent was he on his intangible enemy. Yusuke and schoolwork-the only two opponents that truly tested her brother's strength. She watched him as he worked. It was minute, but the muscles in his arms would flex with each page he turned, their fibers rippling, across the bone, stretching or contracting if need be. Powerful muscles those were. If he wanted, Kazuma could take down entire armies with just a couple punches. True to his character however, he would never dare to do such a thing, unless of course, there was a cause for which he was fighting. Ah yes, the glorious, noble cause! That gleaming banner of light which all men rally behind as long as the right words are spoken or the correct heartstrings plucked. The light that drew Kazuma to it however, was of a more dangerous and final variety. Like a lemming over a cliff face, Kazuma would never hesitate to plunge over into the dark abyss if it meant protecting those he cared about. A soldier to the last, her brother would always step up to sacrifice himself for their greater good.

Shizuru hated that. She hated that her brother placed next to no value on his life. As long as he accomplished something to be proud of, Kazuma Kuwabara didn't care how he died. What a spoiled brat. How dare he be so blasé as to think that he could just go and die, and everyone be okay with that as long as someone else had been saved! Didn't he see that he mattered? Didn't he see that there were people who would mourn if he died? Didn't he see sacrificing himself was the stupidest way to go out? Didn't he see that-

"Sis? What're you doing in here?"

Yanked from her internal ranting, Shizuru's gaze came back into focus. Sitting in his desk chair, Kazuma had partially turned to face her. The light from the lamp sparkled, dancing across the mechanical pencil tucked behind his ear. He had one eyebrow quirked and a half-quizzical, half-concerned expression on his face. She's never in here after all. The few times she dropped by, Shizuru never breached the barrier of her brother's privacy, she stayed just outside the door unless entering was necessary. She didn't know how much of her emotions Kazuma can sense (she's always been a tough nut for her brother to crack, regardless of his spiritual strength), but her obvious strange behavior was cause for concern.

However as she looked at her little brother, looked into those piercing gray eyes, she could find no words to placate him. What was she doing in his room? Why had she come in? Just to stare at him and mentally lecture? No, logic always underpinned Shizuru Kuwabara's actions, and do something as pointless as coming into her sibling's room just to sit on his bed and stare at him flew in the face of who she was.

Unbeknownst to her, she had once more dipped beneath the surface of her mind, and could not hear her brother's calls. So deep had she gone in fact, that she did not even register Kazuma's presence until he sat right in front of her and yanked her back onto the shore of reality by way of his hand on her shoulder. With a yelp, she jumped, and found herself staring directly into her brother's face. Gone was the boyish curiosity, replaced with a hard concern that stretched his jawline taut. It shocked her how grown-up that expression made him look. Then she remembered that wasn't the first time he'd worn that face. All throughout the final round of the Dark Tournament, his face had been set that way, as if it had been a block of stone, carved by a cosmic artist who'd had a penchant for creating scowling young men. He'd had to grow up fast, in the worst way possible. It saddened her.

Before Kazuma could press her further, Shizuru surged forward and wrapped her arms around her brother. He went rigid, as unmalleable as a cold steel beam. It was only natural. Shizuru Kuwabara, elder Kuwabara sibling with a strong spirit awareness and even stronger love for tobacco was _never_ affectionate. Not even as a child had she been one to hug her brother.

"Sis? Is…is everything okay?"

Genuine concern just starting to dip its toes into fear. She knew that all too well. Had experienced it herself when their father had been standing in front of them a few years ago, red-rimmed eyes and washed –out face as he tried to find the best way to tell his children that their mother would no longer be with them. Much like her father, Shizuru could not find words to soothe Kazuma's tension, and instead just gripped him tighter, burying her face in his shoulder, taking in the scent of him. Sharp, chilled, and musky, the body wash mixed with the cologne he wore; so unlike the peach-scented bubble bath and strawberry flavored toothpaste he used to smell like when he was a child.

"Okay sis, you're really starting to freak me out. What's wrong?"

Still at a loss for how to put everything she felt into words, Shizuru did what came naturally: she said the first thing that came to mind.

"You're such a moron, baby brother."

"Wh-"

Alas, Kazuma never got to finish. For those six words had been the hidden key needed to unlock her thoughts from their cage of controlled emotions.

"What the hell were you thinking, letting Toguro just stab you in the chest like that? What if he'd really killed you, what then? What do you think we would have done huh? Do you even realize how stupid, no how s _elfish_ you were being? Botan would have had to take two of her friends back to Spirit World, Yukina would have been devastated, and what the hell would I have told Dad?! Oh, yeah sorry your son wanted to die like some idiot martyr and so he threw himself at some walking chunk of muscle so his friend could win a demon fighting tournament? No! I wouldn't have been able to say anything! And why? Because we can't talk about stuff like that in front of normal people!* Do you realize how screwed up your death would have made everything?"

Tears began to prick the corners of her eyes. For a moment, the world lurched and became blurry. Sniffling, she murmured, "do you realize how screwed up your death would have made me?"

Silence, thick and heavy settled upon the pair. Shizuru ground her teeth in a desperate effort to keep the tears at bay. She would not cry. She was the big sister damn it! No way would she cry! Unfortunately, her heart had other plans. Cracked under the sudden burst of outward pressure of her emotional ranting, the cracks splintered out in all directions, wrapping around the organ in a network of thin, ebon spider webs until it shattered, unveiling the gossamer liquid egg of sorrow that, now free, pervaded her being, and sent its army of tears streaming down her cheeks. At the mercy of her torn heart, Shizuru buried her face in her brother's shoulder and began to softly sob. It wasn't fair. It just wasn't fair, damn it! She was the big sister, why couldn't Kazuma let her do what that role required? Why couldn't he let her protect him?

Strong arms enveloped her as she felt a rough, calloused palm stroke her hair.

Kazuma chuckled, "Yeah, you're right, I was pretty stupid. I mean, sure my mock death gave Urameshi the strength he needed to defeat Toguro, but if I let myself see it that way, I'm missing the point, aren't I?" He began to thread his fingers through her hair, letting the thick locks dance between his fingertips, "for all we knew back then, Toguro was serious about killing me, and heck he made it look pretty convincing," he snorted, "felt pretty convincing too."

By now, Shizuru's sobs had quieted. A couple remaining tears slid down her cheeks, but that was all. Sighing, she removed her face from her brother's shoulder and nestled her head in the crook of his neck. She couldn't put her finger on it, but for some reason, embracing her sibling like this gave her an overwhelming sense of tranquility. It didn't matter what was going on in the world, outside their house, or even downstairs. Right here, in this very room, on this very bed, there was nothing else but the two of them. And in all honesty, she didn't mind because when it came down to it, the two of them made a pretty damn good team.

"You know," Kazuma said, cutting in on her thoughts, "I've actually being doing a lot of thinking about what Urameshi said back then, all that heartfelt stuff about how he'd wished he'd been able to reach his power without having to sacrifice me, It's just strange. Never knew how much I meant to the guy…"

Frowning, Shizuru slipped out from her brother's embrace. Kazuma quirked an eyebrow at her, which Shizuru responded by tossing him a flat look right before whacking him on the head.

"Ouch! The heck was that for, huh?!" Kazuma snarled, cradling his throbbing skull.

Folding her arms across her chest, she replied, "oh sure, spend a few minutes marveling at how much Yusuke cares about you, but spare a moment of consideration for your own sister?"

"Wha..no! I didn't mean it like that sis, I swear!"

Try as she might, Shizuru couldn't keep the stern look on her face for long. Like the sun through thick clouds, a smile broke out onto her face, spilling light into her dark eyes, "No, I know you didn't, I'm just giving you a hard time." The smile dropped from her face. Reaching forward, she took one of Kazuma's hand in her own. As she rolled her thumbs across the back of her brother's palm she marveled at his hands. Large and powerful, how many punches had this hand thrown? How many more before he drew his final breath? Tightening her grip, she looked her brother right in the eyes. Dark, cold, and sharp her stare bore right through her brother's schoolyard façade of superhero bravery.

"I know I can't stop you from wanting to help people, it's who you are. But Kazuma, I want you to promise me that whenever you get into a dangerous situation promise me you won't throw your life away," she brought his hand above her heart, as if by clutching this small piece of him to her breast, she could keep him safe, "promise me Kazuma, because…" Tears again began to prick the corners of her eyes, "I want you to come home…so please, promise me?"

Unlike before, the elder Kuwabara was able to keep her tears at bay. She gazed at her brother. Confusion swam in his eyes, warring with concern for the winner's spot. Never before had he seen such an emotional outburst from his sister whose prickly personality could make her pass for a barmaid. Such a thing was more than likely tearing him up inside, knowing that his recklessness with his own life was the cause of it, and she felt like a horrible person for doing this to him, but was there any other way? Sure, she could invoke the ever infamous Yukina card, but that wouldn't really drive the point home. Life wasn't about just living for your sweetheart and saving damsels in distress. There were far more important things to worry about than being a hero, or a real man. And damn it, if she came off as selfish for wanting him to think of her next time he dove head first into an army of demons, then who the hell cared? They were family! It was high time he started thinking of her as more than just a cheerleader who was happy to sit in the sidelines and watch him get his face pounded to a meaty pulp!

Letting out a small sigh, Kazuma closed his eyes and smiled, "Yeah, I promise."

"Really?"

Nodded, he replied, "yeah," Opening his eyes, he regarded his sister for a moment before a wide, childlike grin spilt his face. Shizuru couldn't help but grin back. Oh her baby brother, what a sweet little ham.

The grin on Kazuma's face shrunk to a warm smile, "You okay now sis?"

Smiling back, Shizuru released her brother's hand and ruffled his hair, "Yeah, I am."

"Hey!" Kazuma cringed back, "you're messing up my do!"

Shizuru huffed, "yes, Elvis, as if the girls were falling all over you before." With a stretch, she rose from the bed and strode over to the door. Right as she passed beneath the door frame, she stopped and turned back towards Kazuma. He had moved back to his desk and had once again set out to tackle the intangible dragon of his homework.

"Hey, Kazuma?" she called out.

"Yeah?" he asked, raising his head.

Jabbing a finger at his open notebook, she said, "you're gonna have all that done within the hour, right?"

The boy's jaw hit the floor, "seriously?! Do you realize how much I have?!"

Ever the impassive tyrant, Shizuru just shook her head and tutted, "well then I suggest you get a move on baby bro. It's not like it'll do itself."

A string of garbled growls escaped from Kazuma's clenched teeth. Without a word, he turned back to his homework and began scribbling fast enough to risk setting the page aflame. Amused, Shizuru chuckled and walked out of his room. When she was about halfway down the hall, she stopped and glanced over her shoulder.

"Love you, little brother."

* * *

 ***I know at the end of the manga, Kuwabara's father shows up and announces that Yukina will be living with them and has some knowledge of Spirit World, so take that line as something said within the anime as opposed to its manga counterpart.**

 **Shizuru's a pretty cool character, and I've been wanting to do an interaction between the Kuwabara siblings for a while. I know she comes off as a hardass at times, but when you see it form her perspective, she deeply cares for her brother and his safety and I wanted to try showing the more maternal/sisterly side of her.**


End file.
